～～～一位中国基督徒父亲的见证与劝勉
世事纷争，社会各界的人或“义愤填膺”的呐喊，或“事不关己，高高挂起”的淡然处之，更多的人无所适从。HuSir是一个普通的中国人，和千千万万同胞一样，生长在这个体制下的土地上。从小接受“无神论”教育，被灌输集体主义理想，被鼓励向上爬、争当“先进”，也曾为了家庭的安稳、孩子的未来，被迫入党，进入体制，成为那个庞大机器中的一颗小螺丝。
我曾经以为这就是正常的路——不说真话、不问意义、不信上帝，只服从“一个来自于上面的声音，‘例假式’的月月学习”。只要守规矩、争业绩、别出事，人生就不会出错。
但生活不是一张按部就班的表格。我的至亲生病了，体制并没有照顾我们，他们下设的机构反而用程序和冷漠，把我们一次次推入焦虑与无助。亲情、尊严、信仰、真话，一样样都成了“奢侈品”。这一切，难道就是我必须接受的人生吗？
直到我遇见基督。祂没有给我立刻的改变，却让我开始看见真相。祂没有带我逃离苦难，却让我在苦难中得自由。祂让我明白，自由不是“说了算”，而是“能面对真理而不退缩”；信仰不是“服从”，而是“悔改与更新”。
中美脱钩，不再是媒体里的“概念”，而是我们能感受到的现实：
- 外贸萎缩，工厂关停，工作越来越难找；
- 外企撤走，技术断供，孩子学业的方向变得模糊；
- 网络封锁加剧，信息透明越来越少；
- 社会价值回到“服从第一”的语境，批判被压制，表达被收紧。
很多人不说，但心里都在问：还能出国吗？还能换工作吗？还能讲真话吗？我们家孩子怎么办？我还能相信什么？更有人担心我们一夜回到“解放前”，其实比回到解放前更让人担忧的是回到加入WTO之前。
这个时代，很多人不怕贫穷，而是怕“连活得明白的权利都没有”。
为什么我说：我不愿再与这个错误的系统同归于尽？
不是HuSir愤怒，是醒了。过去几十年，我们被教育去信服“集体的正确”“组织的安排”“领导的决定”。我们习惯了自我压抑，也习惯了互相沉默。我们以为：只要自己不出头，就能保全自己。
但今天你看看：就算你不说话、不出头、不反抗，你的生活真的被保全了吗？
信仰把我从这种迷思中唤醒。我读到耶稣说：“你们必晓得真理，真理必叫你们得以自由。”
我发现，真正的自由，是敢面对真话，是能选择良心，是即便生活再苦，也不让灵魂弯腰。
给中国同胞的心里话：愿你不要失去那一点点内心的亮光
HuSir不希望你马上改变什么。我只是希望你：
- 不要麻木，哪怕只是对一条新闻多问一句“真的吗？”；
- 不要冷漠，哪怕只是对朋友说一句“我懂你的难”；
- 不要放弃希望，哪怕只是保留一份祷告的空间；
- 不要让恐惧决定你是谁，而让信仰决定你想成为什么样的人。
写在最后：如果你累了，请看看我的故事
HuSir写了一本书，记录了和家人历经种种磨难重建信仰的过程。
这不是一本“斗争”的书，而是一本“挣扎”的书。不是控诉社会，而是诚实面对。不是仇恨制度，而是选择悔改。
我写这段话，不是因为我比你“高明”，只是因为我知道：很多人其实也想活得明白，也想相信点什么，也想给孩子一个更清醒的未来。
希望我们的孩子、家人、朋友理解，或有一天能明白：
她的父亲、家人和朋友，不只是个党员，不只是个中国人，更是一个信了耶稣、学会悔改、学会爱的人。
如果你也在挣扎，请相信，我们不是孤单的人。
——HuSir 写于2025年中国大陆
愿你在这个脱钩的时代，活出灵魂不脱轨的人生。
Don’t Let “China–U.S. Decoupling” Disturb the Freedom of Your Heart
——A Testimony and Exhortation from a Chinese Christian Father
“I, like many Chinese, do not wish to become a sacrificial victim of an authoritarian government’s break from global peace, nor to make futile contributions for them.” This is not a cry of anger but a word of sobriety. It is, in this era, a Chinese person’s strong refusal to have their destiny spoken for on their behalf.
Today’s China stands at a historical juncture that “appears strong yet is truly anxious”: on one hand an ever hardening posture toward the outside world, on the other an ever heavier silence at home; on one hand chanting globalization, on the other erecting ideological walls with lockdowns and decoupling. But what of ordinary people? Do we really want to confront the world? Do we truly desire to be driven onto the chariot of opposing civilizations and forsaking peace?
No!
Yet we are paying that price—silently, in hushed tones, with nowhere to appeal.
The cost of “standing tough against America” inside these high walls is not played out in Foreign Ministry press releases but lands hard in the lives of every ordinary Chinese person:
- Parents who once hoped to send their children abroad for study suddenly learn that visas are ever harder to obtain, even requiring political background questionnaires;
- Small and medium sized exporters who relied on foreign orders find their clients cancel overnight, factories close, and workers laid off;
- Young people who have just learned to code find AI and chip technologies become “targets of blockade,” their dreams turning to bubbles;
- Even in a small county town, an ordinary person wanting to buy a foreign brand water purifier must pay three times the price—if they can find one at all—and becomes prey to exploitative middlemen.
Externally “struggle,” internally “endure in silence.” The moment you voice mild discontent, someone will accuse you of “standing with the enemy,” as though failing to back “tough talk with America” makes you a traitor.
But the real traitors are those who push Chinese people into isolation and force the people to pay for their illusions.
Who truly should pay the price for decoupling?Those who never worry about daily bread nor fret over their children’s futures—the privileged elite; Those who can send their family to give birth in the United States, yet at home shout “self reliance”; Those holding special resources and privileged passports, ready to slip away at any moment.
Not us—who must hedge against inflation while worrying whether our children’s school lessons are education or indoctrination. We are not their tools, nor should we be sacrificial victims of their strategic miscalculations.
What we need is not continued compliance but sober repentance.
Some say that “repentance” sounds weak or retreating; in fact, it is quite the opposite—
- Repentance is the first step of a soul’s awakening, the courage to break free from lies;
- Repentance is not bowing to the West but returning to truth;
- Repentance is not shame before the regime but shame for our years of silence;
- Repentance is confessing that we once were those who forwarded slogans in Moments, nodded along at meetings, and kept silent in daily life.
But repentance cannot stop at recognition; it must be accompanied by courage and resolve—especially among those trained in “servile obedience” for years within the system.
Most “good people” are like this: swallowing their pride for promotion, chanting slogans to fit in; defending leaders at meetings, making excuses for the system, even exhorting others that “a sensible person adapts to the times”; watching petitioners get stonewalled, witnessing subordinates brush issues aside, yet choosing silence. You may have told yourself, “Nothing can change anyway,” only to later realize that this is the deepest fall: not committing evil itself, but numbing to truth and sleeping through conscience.
Repentance means that once awakened, you still dare to step forward and refuse to feign deafness;Repentance means that even if you cannot yet exit the system, you will no longer whitewash its lies;Repentance means speaking from the heart: “I refuse to defend this system—I will answer to my faith.”
Faith is not a fantasy of the regime but loyalty to truth.
The greatest terror of our age is not totalitarianism itself but the “deification” of totalitarianism—making the state a sacred avatar, obedience an act of devotion, silence a duty, and doubt of power an “original sin.”
But as a Christian, I increasingly understand that the only One truly to be feared is the God who transcends every regime; the only One to whom we must pledge allegiance is the Lord Jesus, who said, “Whoever desires to become great among you shall be your servant.”
When a regime demands your silence, demands your lies, demands you pick a side in the name of “national interest,” ask yourself: Whom am I obeying—God or the system that claims to “represent the people”?
We are not subversives but guardians of human dignity. We are not unpatriotic but lovers of genuine humanity; we are not against unity but against a counterfeit unity; we are not unwilling to sacrifice for the collective but unwilling to bleed for lies.
To my fellow Chinese hearts: may you never lose that little spark of inner light.
I, HuSir, do not ask you to change everything at once. I only hope you will:
- Not become numb—even if it means asking of a single news item, “Is this really so?”
- Not grow indifferent—even if it means telling a friend, “I understand your pain.”
- Not abandon hope—even if it means keeping a private space for prayer.
- Not let fear define who you are, but let faith shape who you want to become.
A final word: If you grow weary, please read my story.
I, HuSir, have written a book recording how my family and I rebuilt our faith through various trials. ‘A Chinese Christian’s Spiritual Journey’. This is not a book of “struggle,” but a book of “striving”; not a social indictment, but an honest facing of reality; not hatred of the system, but a choice to repent.
I write these words not because I am “smarter” than you, but because I know many also yearn to live with clarity, to believe in something, to give their children a more lucid future.
May our children, families, and friends understand—or one day come to understand—that their father, family, and friends are not merely Party members or merely Chinese, but believers in Jesus, learners of repentance, and people of love.
If you too are struggling, believe this: we are not alone.
——Written by HuSir, Mainland China, 2025 May you, in this age of decoupling, live a life whose soul remains on track.
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